[ReBlog]: How Men Learn To Treat Women

Does a man’s relationship with his mother reveal how he will treat women?

When I read this question, I thought the answer would be easy. I’m usually hesitant before giving an opinion because I want to consider all the factors before responding. I’ve heard many opinions on this topic throughout the years. I don’t think the answer is as clear-cut as it would seem. As you state above, there are exceptions to the rule. There are many different scenarios where the correlation between a man’s relationship with his mother and his relationship with his love interest aren’t analogous. I believe that examining a man’s relationship with his mother can give you a benchmark for how he will treat others, but it isn’t the end all be all of his behavioural patterns.

Observing the relationship between mother and son will show you how a man will treat a woman who holds importance in his life. My relationship with my mother is strong. She helped to shape and mold the man I am today. I respect her, listen to her, accept any and all slander she deals me, and I know when to pick and choose my battles. As the family matriarch, her input on life issues is greatly appreciated. When I think I know it all, she will drop simple yet effective knowledge that opens my eyes and shows me where I need to go. At the same time, she is my mom, and she can press when pressing isn’t required. She can reiterate things to me that I’m clear about a zillion times over, because she wants to make sure she can hit me upside the head with an “I told you so” if I eff up. I love her as a mom, a person, and as family. When I think to my relationships with women, I carry a lot of these acquired principles into them. Ask any man whose ever had a serious relationship with a woman, and he will confirm that the core principles I described above are very important in their dealings with significant others.

My mom would always tell me that a woman would judge HER and me if certain aspects of my life weren’t tight. If I couldn’t make a bed, keep proper hygiene, was disrespectful to women, etc. a woman would side eye my upbringing. I see these bad ass kids who curse out their mothers and treat them like sh*t, and the first thought in my head is “If I had a daughter, I wouldn’t want her dating no parts of THAT dude!”

I kept these lessons close to heart and made sure that when I dealt with women, that I tried my best to be respectful, because my mom raised me right. At the same time, I’m not one of those freaks that wants a mother figure as my wife. In other words, I don’t want to date my mom! A man’s relationship with his mother will differ from a significant other relationship / casual dating situation. Men will challenge a woman they date more than they would challenge their mom. Men will compromise in different ways with a mom as opposed to another woman. Dating a woman is a partnership. Interactions with your mom can be a partnership, dictatorship, totalitarian, authoritative, or other adjective that illustrates one of Bill Cosby’s famous quotes to Theo Huxtable:

I brought you into this world, and I can take you OUT! 

There’s a flip side to this debate as well. I know of dudes who treat their mother like gold and women like dirt. I know of men who had no mother figure in their life who treat women with the utmost respect. That mother-son relationship isn’t the only measurement for how a man will treat a woman, and there are exceptions. Knowledge of a mother and son’s relationship can give you additional insight into how he treats women but will never divulge the entire truth. I wouldn’t use that information as the ultimate factor in how you evaluate a man’s capacity for dealing with women he dates. We are human. We will pick and choose how we treat people. Some people will hold more importance than others. A man may respect you as a woman, but not hold your relationship as lovers in high regard.

I’m thankful for the life lessons my parents taught me. I also know that their lessons weren’t the only lessons I learned. I learned from family, friends, coworkers, and every relationship I’ve had in my life. A man’s relationship with his mother will give you some insight but not all. See how he treats people in general, from the waiters at a restaurant to the person he respects the most. The more information you have the better. If he shows you who he is, believe him, and act accordingly.


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