HurricaneSandy (600x338)

Top 5 Things To Do During A Hurricane (By: @TheKabirReport + @SholaBoyTellEm)

5.) Rape Instagram

Social networks are at their prime when people are forced to stay home. Women are bored and in need of company and Men … Men are no different than they are any other day. All praises due to Mother Nature because today is the only day we’re allowed to like pictures posted 3 to 4 months ago without causing any alarm…..

I Don’t Know What Kabir’s Talking About Up There But Try Liking A Female’s Photo From 3 Months Ago When She Has Over 500 Photos & See How Fast She Utilizes That “Report For Spam” Button. Trust Me, I Would Know. But Depending On Who You Follow, Instagram Just Might Be The Best Thing To Do When You’re Bored At Home. It Doesn’t Just Stop On Your Own TL, You Can Peep Who Followed Who Or Who Just Liked What Picture On The Activity Tab & Then Stalk That Person’s TL To See If They’re Stalking Follow Worthy Or Not, Not That I Ever Do It, That’s Just What My Boy Told Me …… Don’t You Hate When You Accidentally Like Somebody’s Picture And You Don’t Even Follow Them? The Worst.

4.) Cause Havoc On Twitter

Twitter is a free-for-all during Hurricanes and Storms. Have beef with somebody? Send out a super obvious subliminal, slander whomever & DM’s are no-holds-barred … You can always delete it tomorrow and blame it on Sandy.

Strangely, Twitter Never Gave Me A DM Box When I Signed Up A Few Years Ago, So I Can’t Relate To The No-Holds-Barred Sh*t That Y’all Be Doing, And I Gave Up That Slander Life When I Found God A Few Days Ago, So Next Topic Please.

3.) Find A Heaux To Cuddle With

According to National Study, Cuddling increases 27% during rainy whether. Call up your “him” or “her” and see if their free… Nobody’s “him” or “her” is really THEIRS so they may already be mid-cuddle with another “him” or “her” when you finally contact them…  If that’s the case refer to Number 4 and find the loneliest person on your timeline and send them something nice.

If You Gotta Go To Your Back-Up’s Back-Up Then I’m Guessing You Should Sit This One Out. She’s Deep In The Depth Chart For A Reason. She’s Either Clingy, Has Kids, Annoying As Hell Or Even Worse, All Of The Above. So Ask Yourself This; Is One Night Of Paradise Worth 2 Months Of Hell? (The Scientific Fact Of How Long It Takes A Clingy Heaux To Get The Picture). Also, Make Sure You’re Up To Speed On Her Menstrual Cycle, You Don’t Wanna Be “That Guy” That Actually Has To Cuddle.

2.) Chase The Storm

Avoid this if you’re not white.

1.) Spend Quality Time With Your Netflix Account

Netflix has always been pretty iffy with the movies, but in terms of TV Shows? You can’t go wrong. Try Arrested Development, Prison Break or LOST. Tonight is also a great chance to watch some Movie series you might have missed out on. Back To The Future I-III, The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy or even the original Star Wars Trilogy will all help your lonely night. You might want to change your password for the next few nights … Those seven or eight people you share accounts with might be reading this also.

Yup. When All Else Fails, You Can Always Count On Netflix. Which Is What I’m Currently Doing & So Are You, Don’t Lie To Me, N*gga. Well Actually I’m Using My 7-Day Hulu Plus Free-Trial While I Lurk On Twitter. Now How Sad Is That?

Sidenote: Sorry 4 The E-Card Abuse. They Were Relevant To The Post & I Didn’t Feel Like Finding Anything Clever. Sue Me.

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