The Good Guy? By:Bj Adigun

I take my shoes off, then my sweater. Within 10 seconds I make myself comfortable in her bed, laying down staring at the walls, looking at the floor where her clothes from tonight lay. I reach over and take a long sip of my alcoholic beverage, “This is gonna be a good night” I say to myself. My phone’s going off so I put in the numerical passcode to view what’s going on, only to find out that it’s just the group chat. “Where’s the after parties at?”, “What’s dudes doing?”, “Let’s link.” I smile, turn my phone on Do Not Disturb, and place the phone in my pocket. The shower stops running, she’s finally out. I reach over to my left and take one last swig of my drink. She walks in the room and smiles at me, making small talk, I’m talking back. Something then dawns on me. The feeling of guilt is weighing heavy on me. She’s talking away, while I’m thinking “wow, she has a great smile, but there’s another smile that I’d rather see right now.” My mind starts racing, my heart’s going even faster. My thoughts are running wild into each other. “Why am I here? Why did I come here? You’re not this guy. Is it really worth it?” I grab my shoes and sweater and awkwardly yell out “I’m sorry” then dash downstairs as if I was being chased. I make my way outside, breathing heavily. I take my phone off Do Not Disturb and take a deep breath as I look at my phone. Two missed calls from the girl that matters. How did I find the power to say no to something that was so easy to do??

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