The Death Of Good Men

“There are no good guys out there anymore” A line repeated by countless women when referring to the quality of men on the market. In the context of this statement women define “goodness” as how well guys have treated women in their past. Men who have used women, cheated, lied, or led them on are all put on Morality Trail and found guilty without due process. In no way am I trying defend the behavior or all men, but I don’t think things are as black & white as they appear. We’ve all been socialized similarly, and there are certain things we expect from men and women. For example, we assume women are emotional, and men are more logical. There may be biological evidence linking “feminine” characteristics to women and “masculine” ones to men, but ultimately it’s heighten by our environment. When men sleep around it’s more of self-fulfilling prophecy than an act of immorality. We all expect men to be with a lot of women, and we even raise them to do so. We’ve defined manhood as how many women men can conquer and we’ve been told titles and relationships are frightening. Men treat women terribly because the culture we’re raised in has done so for centuries and we are merely mimicking what we see. More pressing is the thought that one aspect of a person’s life determines whether they’re good or bad. Relationships are like war. It’s rare you’ll find one that both sides haven’t committed some sort of crime against humanity. Also, there are other facets of life that help define a man or woman’s moral standing. Despite how a guy treats women he may be a man of God, may be fighting for human rights, or just a fun person to be around. I don’t think breaking a heart automatically makes him bad. Morality is much more complicated than that. Martin Luther King Jr. & The Honorable Elijah Mohammed both allegedly had issues with women, but I believe the good they did supersedes their infidelities. In no way am I trying to compare Tyrone from Around-The-Way to Martin Luther King Jr. I’m just saying defining someone as good or bad isn’t as simple as looking at their track record with women. With that being said, the way we treat each other is incredibly important, and therefore intention is crucial. I think it’s easier not to place the label of good or bad on anyone. When looking for a mate maybe it’s less about “good” or “bad” and more about how “right” this person is for you. Good guys are all around us, but that doesn’t mean they’re saints. If that’s what you’re looking for then Godspeed my friend.