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Sisters and Bitches: Message To My Sisters (Anonymous)

This post was sent to us by one of our favorite female tweeters.  However at her discretion, we’ll keep her identity to ourselves. Enjoy…

 

“Not a diss blog, just a real blog”

 

Message to my Sisters:

 

This morning I put my iPod on shuffle per usual, and the first song to come up was “Bitches & Sisters” by Jay-Z. It was the umpteenth time I’ve heard the song in my lifetime, but for some reason this morning it hit me a little differently.  As I listened to the track on repeat I pondered exactly what is a “sister” and “bitch?” and how do the two differentiate from each other? Though I was able to come up with some pretty solid standards and examples of sisters, the amount of bitches that came to mind in comparison was just unacceptable. I’m sure Jay would be pleased to know that 12 years later his verses are still relevant, and as a faithful fan I’d be doing him a disservice by not coming out and saying, get it together bitches.

 

First and foremost, I’d like to address that this piece is inspired by, but not necessarily in full compliance with the song. You notice that more often than not, women are constantly being grouped into some category, or some “type.” Take this whole #TeamLightSkin and #TeamDarkSkin trend for example. Though it has been a concept that has been embedded in the minds of our people since the slave ship, social media has been able to take it and make it some whole next shit. Whether it’s the 100 unanswered text messages girls my complexion are supposedly born with (not true: my inbox is on constant cotton mouth mode) or whatever other demeaning connotation constantly stigmatized towards women, it is impossible to attach a generalization to an individual and definitively say they exude all it entails.

Now with that being said, for the purpose of the blog I’m going to contradict myself. I am going out on a limb by even acknowledging this, but before anything else I’m an honest person, and I’m stating the obvious when I say there is a certainly a discrepancy. To further explain I decided to brush off some of my rapping skills and hit you all off with my own personal 16’s around the issue. Here goes:

 

1.)   Sisters do all that they can. Bitches wait on the approval of man.

 

#Bars. Given all the social constructs and ideologies that are shoved down our throats from birth, you cannot blame a woman for thinking that validation from a man is essential. *DJ Scratch* Uh, no bitch. If you can do it for the vine, you need to start doing it for yourself too. You find that at times the approval of men is what keeps some of these girls motivated. Whether it is for the likes, hash tags and retweets or just simply an acknowledgment that you are playing your role as a woman, you and you only (& your moms of course) are the only people you need to start seeking validation from. So the next time you go to do it for the man, tell yourself…

 

1.)   Sisters keep it real. Bitches keep it reality.

 

Iight so I’m slackin’ on the bars, but y’all get the point. With all the Erica Mena’s, Tahiry Jose’s, and the crowd favorite Draya Michele’s of the world it’s easy to get mixed up between what’s real, and reality. However, you need to remind yourselves that when you tune in on Monday’s and tweet about these peoples lives for free, these women get paid thousands of dollars to act (emphasis on act) a fool on national TV. Another important notion that needs to be reiterated is the perpetration of the behavior these women display. It is not too often you find women of color being represented on TV and in this case it’s not in a particularly pleasing manner. Now, I didn’t want to bring any race factor into this, but the reality of it is we was women of color have to work 20x harder to be taken seriously. It does not help our daily battle in any way that the only depiction white people have of us is through these TV shows. Fortunately for these women, having thousands of IG followers and a party to host every weekend seems to be working out for them. I’ve never been one to knock any one’s hustle, but please my sisters don’t let that be the only thing you strive for.

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2.)   Sisters stay together. Bitches are birds of a feather.

 

I can’t count on enough hands the amount of times I’ve heard the infamous “I don’t get along with females because they bring too much drama.” I also can’t count the amount of hands I’ve wanted to use to smack these bitches silly with! First of all, when a girl says she’s never been able to keep a friend that speaks more to her character than anyone else’s. It’s a red flag when she doesn’t have at least ONE female counterpart that can vouch on her behalf. And for the shawtys’ that think an enemy of an enemy is a friend? Wrong. She’s a wack bitch, just like you. It is natural for us to want to be defensive when a man or anyone for that matter disrespects us but we hold little to no credibility when we’re disrespecting each other. That leads me to my next point ..

 

4. Sisters demand respect. Bitches be wildin’ for it.

 

I mean this one kind of goes with out any explanation guys. I was taught that you respect people, just for the simple fact that their people; unfortunately, not everyone thinks that way. It’s in the way you carry yourself, the way you talk, the way you react to certain situations, I mean the list is endless. Once you begin behaving with honor and dignity it’s impossible for it not to be reciprocated. At the end of the day ladies as cliché as it is, no one is going to respect someone who doesn’t respect themselves, and why should they? We also need to keep in mind the amount of women before us who have been disrespected in order for us to be able to demand respect. Their trials and tribulations should never go without acknowledgment. Pay homage to them by starting to respect yourself.

Now I don’t want anybody to take this as a diss, or a bash to women. I love my sisters and I vow to fight everyday to make sure we as women are treated with the respect and hold our heads high with pride. To all my sisters out there doing the damn thing, just know that you are not unnoticed. Keep it the fuck up, y’all are my idols. And to these bitches, it’s never too late to step your cookies up. Our arms are always wide open to anyone looking to join this sisterhood. I’m open to any further discussions with some sisters and brothers about this. If this at all made you feel any type of way, then I guess where you stand on the spectrum needs no further confirmation, because sisters love Jay cause they know how ‘Hov is, I love my sisters .. I don’t love no bitch.