I really didn’t know what to think, but this time I wasn’t going to chase her. I mean, at this point what else could I do? The next day I went to school walked in like nothing happened between me and her, it was no one’s business. I wasn’t going to tell everyone how much of a bitch she was. I got to my locker and she moved out all of her things, and that’s when it hit me, it was really over between us. I turned around and there she was just walking and laughing with her friends, she didn’t even look my way. I just didn’t get it, I stood back and thought of what she said to me, “your feelings are just way too strong for me” it still didn’t make any sense to me.
Some time had passed, and my feelings for Sharon didn’t change a bit, I just put it in the back of my mind, I guess a part of me still wanted it to work, but then something else happened. I became closer to another girl named Kelsey. Kelsey was cool, she helped me a lot when it came to math, and when I say she helped me I really mean she did it for me. Football was over so I had a lot of free time on my hands, so I was hanging with Kelsey a lot now. I know what you’re thinking, there’s something going on between us but, but in all honesty she was just a friend. Well that all changed one afternoon, I was just about ready to leave her house and I leaned in to give her a hug goodbye, but instead she kissed me. I was in shock at first but I went with it, we shared a passionate kiss, it felt as if this kiss should have happen awhile ago, I didn’t want to stop, I didn’t want to let go and I know she didn’t either. As I finally leave and start walking down the stairs, It all hit me that I just made out with Sharon’s best friend, but I didn’t feel bad at all.
A few days later I received a text from Sharon and my heart dropped, I guess I wasn’t expecting to ever talk to her again.
“Come over after school, we gotta talk.”
I was nervous, I didn’t know what to expect; Did she wanna get back together? Did she miss me? Did she find out about Kelsey? My guard was up, I was prepared for everything and anything. I walk in and I don’t say a word and she says
“Do you have something to tell me?”
I wanted to tell her how much she hurt me and how much I still care, but pride kicked in so I simply said
“You’re a f*cking liar! You messed with Kelsey! My best friend! You’re sick!”
I didn’t know what to say so I lied, I denied everything I was lying so much that I was starting to believe my own lies! But then it hit me, why am I even lying? This is the same girl that broke my heart, but at the same time this is also the same girl that I love, so at that moment lying felt nessacary.
“No, I swear I didn’t mess with her I still have feelings for you.”
“Get the f*ck out of here and delete my number b*tch. Don’t f*cking look at me when you see me cause I swear I’ll hit you.”
So I walk out, and I text Kelsey. I knew she said something to someone, but I wasn’t gonna come at her, I wasn’t even gonna say anything, I just wanted company, and I knew she would be there.
Months passed, and things changed. Sharon finally got over the whole Kelsey thing. Yeah, she hated her, and every time she saw me talking to Kelsey she wanted to punch her and well Sharon finally admited she loved me. Something I been waiting to hear for so long now, but I was in a hard place, see Kelsey fell in love with me too. I liked Kelsey but I wasnt in love with her. Sharon had my heart, but I just didn’t have it in me to leave Kelsey alone. She was the girl that you bring home to your family, she was almost perfect and she was so nice. You just don’t hurt people like her, so what does a kid with little relationship experience do? Go back and forth between the two. I tried keeping them both happy and it was working but I wasn’t happy. I was stressed out I knew it was only a matter of time before it all blew up in my face, which eventually it did.
Sharon seen me and Kelsey at a party together, I knew she was mad, it was all over her face. Later that night Sharon knew my mom was gone for the weekend so she shows up to my house and makes her way into my bedroom and lays down. She immediately takes off her clothes and the only logical thing for me to do was join her. Before you know it we’re having sex, her squeezing the sheets, to her scratching my back, to her eyes rolling in the back of her head. Ten minutes later I finish, I loved every moment of it and she was frustrated, and just like that I wasn’t a virgin anymore. Sharon leaves, and all I can think of what just took place. The girl I love took my virginity that night was perfect to me, it meant the world to me, and I knew what I had to do. I had to let kelsey go I couldn’t do this anymore.
A few days later Kelsey calls me and she asks
“Do you and Sharon still mess around?”
Everything in me wanted to lie and say “of course not I’m with you.” But what I really ending up saying was;
“Yes, I had sex with her few nights ago I’m so sorr…”
The phone dropped and all I could hear was Kelsey crying. She eventually hangs up and I felt sick to my stomach. That same hour I text Sharon,
“I love you, let’s start over.”
“I can’t I’m talking to someone.”
My heart drops, I literally felt it in my chest. My mind’s going crazy I left the perfect girl for her, I couldn’t believe it, how stupid of me, it all made sense. Sharon wanted to have one up on Kelsey. She saw how close we were getting and she knew she could have lost me so she took the one thing that I still had just so Kelsey wouldn’t. That strong deep feeling of love that I had for her, grew into a deeper hatred, I hate you Sharon, I hate you.
To be continued….