“OMG your curls are soo nice! If my hair was like yours I would definitely be natural.” I get this comment at least twice a week and honestly I’m over it. Why? Because your hair is part of your individuality. Why would you want your hair to be like someone else’s? It is perfectly okay to like someone else’s hair and maybe even try out some of the tips and techniques that person uses as well. You never know what may work for you. But the issue here is; you will never be satisfied with your hair if you continuously compare yourself to someone else and don’t fully embrace your hair for what it is.
I started off saying the same thing to other people. I didn’t initially go natural to stay natural. When my hair was relaxed I used a relaxer 3 times a year. I knew that when I didn’t have a relaxer in my hair grew. So I decided to grow my hair out for a year and then relax it again. I had no intention of staying natural because I didn’t want “nappy” hair. I liked my hair straight because I thought I looked better that way. Eventually my hair started slowly falling out. I had no choice but to start cutting it off. Then I told myself I’ll just go fully natural. I will grow out my hair and when it gets to a point where I’m happy with the length I’ll relax it again. When I cut my hair, I had no clue what my hair was going to look like. I was very self-conscience because most of my life my hair had been a decent length. It was kind of like my blanket. And that blanket was about to be stripped away from me. When I big chopped I immediately put my hair in single braids. I was not ready to let the world see me without my straight hair. I remember after cutting my hair feeling very regretful. Like why did I do this to myself?
About a month later, I took out my braids and decided at that point Im going to take care of my hair because I need it to grow. As a new natural, of course, I didn’t know anything about my hair, what products to use, etc. So I did my research. Youtube was my favorite past time and I found myself spending countless amount of money buying products that I saw these youtube bloggers/vloggers using. I thought it would “make” my hair curl the way these youtubers had their hair. But of course that wasn’t really the case. What I didn’t understand at the time was youtubers use what works for THEM and THEIR hair. Everyone’s hair is different. So you can’t expect the same exact results. This was also around the time where there wasn’t really much natural hair products in stores and the ones that were in stores still contained a lot of harsh chemicals. So I had absolutely no clue what I was really doing. But I stuck with it and kept trying. After about a year of research and practice I figured out what I like about my hair, what I didn’t like, which products gave me what I like, etc. My hair was growing at a very fast rate and my curl pattern was starting to show and OMG I fell in love. My hair was healthier than it had ever been my entire life. Going through all of the trial and error taught me so much about myself and how patient I can be. This process also taught me so much about hair in general.
This may sound absolutely nuts but my hair really helped me become the woman I am today! It takes a lot of courage to step out of your comfort zone. But once you’re out of that zone, the zone you step into eventually becomes comfortable as well. You just have to want it. So my whole message is yes, natural hair is tough at first, but nothing worth having comes easy. Stick with it. Don’t look at another person’s hair and compare it to yours because your hair will NEVER be exactly like their hair. Look in the mirror and love your hair. Be happy with it. God never gives you anything you can’t handle. So if you feel like your hair is hard to manage, don’t give up. It will become second nature to you once you embrace it. I have been natural for four years and every day I learn something new. Whether it is a new trick, new hair style, new product etc. And I love every second of it because this is me. I am taking care of a part of me. Embrace it ladies. Educate yourself and try new things. I promise you’ll love it.
P.S. LEAVE THE FLAT IRON ALONE! You will never learn about your curly hair while it’s straight. Plus it is doing way more damage then you know. EMBRACE it and be patient!
You may follow Cynthia Louis on Twitter @CyndiiL or Instagram @Cyndiilou You will not be sorry!!