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Interracial Relationships Are Cool But…

There are so many interracial couples in our society today, and I think it’s really cool. It’s dope to see people not really see the other person’s culture, race, or ethnicity as a barrier. In fact, I think many of us who date interracial, actually embrace one another’s cultures. So yes, interracial relationships are cool but have you ever took a second and thought about what it could possibly mean in the future?

For the sake of technicality, let’s think of the term interracial dating as dating someone of a different ethnicity, not so much just race. We all know that John may be Haitian and Lashawnda may be African-American (LOL), but here in America they’re both just black, even though John speaks a foreign language, eats completely different food, etc.  As I briefly think about all of my more close friends, who are dating or have been/were in a relationship in the last two years, I cannot think of one who dated someone within his/her race or ethnicity…Crazy Right?

This leads me to ask myself: What does this mean for the future of our society, the future of our kids, and the future of our families? Before I pose this question, I will let you know that I am neither for or against interracial dating. I think whatever makes people happy is what they should go with. However, are there any disadvantages or challenges to interracial dating? Well There may be a few…

Our Children May Not Know The Traditions We Had Growing Up

I think it’s safe to say that many of our parents want us to keep the traditions that they practiced and instilled in us, when they pass or when we create our own households. That may be harder to do when we have to compromise or sacrifice some of our own traditions to compensate for our significant other’s traditions. If this is challenging for a couple, you can only imagine that their children may not really know each of their parents’ traditions. This may not be a big deal to some, but to others it really is a big deal. You may also argue: Well my children will know both traditions. That may be true, but the chances are that they won’t know these traditions as well as you would like them to.

Lack of Second Languages In Our Future Society

I know what you’re thinking… If you have a household with interracial parents, who both speak more than one language, doesn’t that make for a higher chance of their kids speaking multiple languages. No, it does not. In most interracial couples, in which both individuals speak two different languages (other than english), they don’t take the time to learn one another’s language. For example, If Dad doesn’t know how to speak Italian, which mom does, there’s a lesser chance that their kids are going to speak italian. The kids may know a few words here and there but chances are they won’t speak Italian Fluently. Even if mom is teaching the kids a few words here and there, the kids won’t be practicing when they’re alone with Dad because dad doesn’t speak italian.

Differences In Beliefs and Values

While the differences in beliefs and values that an interracial couple may have amongst themselves is easily solved by communication, when or if the two families merge, it can really be challenging to find a “neutral zone”. This can begin as early as the wedding (if some of us get there). As a wedding photographer, I hear the brides or grooms to be saying: “Yeah we’re just going to do it for his/her mom” or “I’m only going to do it because he/she really wants it”. I come across this situation all the time when I sit down with my brides and grooms to be! This can also come into play around the holidays. I’ll use another example with names, since that seems to be a pattern with this blog. Tammy never celebrated Christmas growing up, and she still does not. However, her boyfriend, Curt, loves Christmas and it has always been a big deal to his family. What does the interracial couple do in this situation?

 

While I’m sure all of these three challenges or “disadvantages” of an interracial relationship could be solved by simple communication and with adapting, we should really think about these things as we date or think about getting married. I’m not saying to think about these things as negative entities that could make interracial relationships not work out, but let these thoughts marinate in your mind and reflect on how you would raise your future children or deal with your significant other’s different beliefs and values. Interracial dating is cool but there are some interesting challenges that may need to be resolved sooner or later.

 

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