Guest Blogs – Twitter Detectives: By @iTalk2Slick

Yet Another Guest Blog, This Time From The Infamous Wale, Shout Outs To Him For The Blessing.

Twitter Detectives

What’s up? I’m back with my newest blog. I apologize for the amount of time in between this and my last blog. Some of us are out here trying desperately to attain greatness. Long days and nights of studying aren’t a joke. But y’all don’t care. Y’all are here for one reason. So here it goes……

Twitter detectives. I told myself I was gonna try to minimize the amount of blogs I wrote about Twitter, but this topic just needed to be touched on. (No Sandusky) So please bear with me. We all know exactly what a Twitter detective is. We all probably know a few. They sit there and lurk all day in search of fool’s gold. Trying to find something interesting to run back and tell somebody. Stop it. It hasn’t ever been cool and it won’t start now. Leave Twitter on Twitter.

There is always that one individual who is slithering up and down your TL in hope of finding some information. You know what I mean. I’m talking about the scumbag that clicks the thread button and reads your entire conversation with someone else. All with the intentions of running back and divulging the oh so important information they ascertained from this here social network. They see fake thirst and run with it. They see you tweet #CheckYaDMs or #HeyBoo to a female and all of a sudden y’all are having sex. Trust me. If I’m gonna send her a DM, I’m NOT gonna broadcast it on my TL. Twitter will never know. (Unless she screen caps it, but that’s an issue for a totally different blog.) Honestly, the hashtag should give away the fake thirst, but y’all only see what y’all wanna see.

I never thought I would see the day where I would have to censor what I tweet. Actually, that day still hasn’t come. I exercise my #FreedomOfTweet. All day. Every day. I say what I want, when I want, to whoever I feel like. Now it’s not my fault if you decide 2 plus 2 equals 100. On Twitter, I don’t take very much at face value. Believe none of what you hear and only half of what I tweet. If I feel like you’re trying to make something out of nothing, I promise I will do everything humanly possible to feed into it. Why? Well the first reason is simply because I can. The second reason is because all you Twitter detectives will eat it right up. Also, it’s hilarious to see you make an ass of yourself based off a winky face.

Emotions flare when one of these Twitter detectives finds something “credible” on their TL. Your mentions are set ablaze. Your DMs explode. Even your SMS inbox isn’t safe. They’re all infiltrated with screams of nothingness. Questions rain down like a tropical storm. All based off a tweet. This also happens to be a great way to get your feelings hurt. Twitter is my entertainment. I joke and talk my sh*t on Twitter with the best of them. However, I don’t like being tried over BS though. So it’s all fun and games until I get a text. That’s when you’ll see sh*t get nonfictional. Quick.

I know I had a previous blog called “It’s Just Twitter” and you might feel like this blog is contradicting that previous blog. I can assure you, I’m not. You have every right to feel the way you do about anything I tweet. And I have the right to not give the slightest of f***s. (Which I don’t, by the way.) If you’re important or close enough to me, you will know the truth, despite what Twitter may “reveal”. What’s understood ain’t gotta be said. So if your only source of information is Twitter, that’s the equivalent of using MediaTakeOut as your source of daily news. You’re gonna be the only one that ends up looking like an ass. I promise you that.

So please stop tryna be detectives. Leave the sleuthing to Sherlock Holmes and Nancy Drew. We’re all grown. There’s this dope ass thing called life. You should try it some time. You might just enjoy it. If you spent less time stalking other individuals’ timelines and conversations, you just might be happier. But what the hell do I know, right???

That’s all I’ve got for y’all this time. If you liked this post then cool. If not, then I guess all I can say is……. Sorry For The Blog. @iTalk2Slick signing out.

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