1. They Way They Talk About Their Exes…& How Often:
Most often then not, if someone speaks about still “getting over” their Ex, lingering feelings or is too reminiscent of their past relationship; they are still dealing with that person. When and if the opportunity ever presents itself to get back together with their Ex, they will leave you in the dust regardless if you met each other’s friends, family, co-workers, etc. Also, be very aware of anyone who dogs any of their exes. Their hurt feelings is not the kind of baggage you want to be carrying into your new blossoming relationship AND they will probably speak about you in the same manner if things do not work out.
2. What Is Their Availability?
Honestly, there is nothing more unattractive to me than a person who has way too much time on their hands and wants to spend every waking moment with you. Good morning texts are flattering and all, but texting all day and trying to kick it all the time tells me that you are not really invested in your own success. Seriously, who has the time? Not to mention, too much of one person is not healthy when starting out a new companionship. You may enjoy each other’s company, but restricting your daily intake of someone is wise. You do not want to overwhelm yourself. There is more than enough time to get to know each other.
3. They Want To Protect You:
This may seem really cute at first. Your new boo gets a little jealous when someone flirts with you. They want to make sure you are safe all the time. Checking up on each other is sweet, but it can turn into a very unhealthy obsession quickly. Soon they are trying to restrict you from going to certain places, hanging with people they deem unsuitable for you to be around, and telling you what you can and cannot wear. Next thing you know they are carving your name into their chest with a pen like Mark Wahlberg in the movie Fear. This is actually very serious, tell a close friend or someone you trust that your so-called soul mate is psycho.
4. Serial Monogamer:
Monogamer may not technically be a word, but you get the gist. They have no concept of what it is to be alone. They’ve jumped from one serious relationship to the next and constantly need the affection of a lover. The time and feelings you share may seem genuine, but how genuine can someone be if they are just looking for someone to fill the void of whatever their soul is missing. This person comes with way too much baggage from past relationships and tends to apply their expectations of their past into the present. A serial monogamer will invest a lot of time in you and their actions will more than often reflect what they speak, but their neediness is through the roof. Also, they will always be scoping out for the next.
5. Family Oriented or Nah?
I am a little hesitant about writing off people who are not family oriented because we all know that each family structure is different and not everyone has a family to support them. However, someone who does not fully understand the family values and morals that have been instilled in you may not fully understand how important certain actions mean to you. For example, I come from a family that is way too close and big for grudges and not apologizing first, even when you feel as if you were not wrong. Things like forgiveness and acceptance could be a problem when dealing with someone who does not necessarily know what unconditional means.
6. Social Media Whore:
Okay, these people are the literal worst. They post their every move, even the ones that are not solidified yet. You can expect them to post about cutesy sh*t about you as well as go hard when they are feeling especially petty. If they cannot keep their own lives private, they certainly will have no regard in keeping your relationship private.
Set boundaries early on and revisit them because people get too comfortable too quickly. Be very careful of what you say you are OK within the first stages of a relationship because you do not want to sound too demanding. For example, yes, honesty is the best policy but there are things people need to keep to themselves like every detail of their sex lives and past relationships. Also, if they show up where you are uninvited, change the music in car with out asking, subtly suggesting you working out more or having too many opinions about your friends…put ‘em back in their place.
8. No Sense Of Humor:
No sense of humor, no deal.
You have your own to keep in check, you do not need to carry someone else’s insecurities on your back. Some people involve themselves in relationships hoping that their partner will make them a better person. If you find yourself constantly having to come to someone’s rescue or reassuring them that they are “good enough”, cut it. That may sound harsh, but you are not Jesus, you cannot perform miracles on people’s lives.
10. Are You Ready?
Always ask yourself, am I ready to get into something serious? Go through this list and ask yourself if these are somethings that you yourself need to work on. Relationships should always be 50/50. If you do not have anything to offer someone except drama and false hope, do not waste their time. Always listen to your gut, if something does not feel right, you will know it.