1. Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable:
This may sound cliche, but I encourage everyone to shake things up a bit and step out of their comfort zone. No one likes being uncomfortable, but like all things, that feeling will pass if you put the effort into adapting to new surroundings. Try new foods, make new friends, travel to new cities, check out a new place for lunch or pick up a new hobby. Of course, you will not always like what new thing you are trying, but you won’t know until you make the effort.
2. Be Single:
I am in no way saying to break up with whomever you are dating now ( unless they are an asshole, then by all means, BYE). However, we are in such a critical stage in our lives where we are constantly changing and trying to figure out life and all it’s uncertainty that it is important for us to learn to be grounded as individuals rather than molding ourselves to fit into a relationship. Take the time to get to know yourself outside of a relationship. Yes, relationships are beautiful if you are both putting the effort to make it work, but we tend to play the role of a perfect partner when we are with someone rather then being our true selves. Being alone is healthy and it allows you time to really figure out what you expect out of a relationship. If you are in a relationship, remember that your significant other should be your friend, but not your only friend. Love yourself, first or nobody will..
3. Stay At Work Later:
I do not believe what people say about millennials being an entitled generation. We expect exactly what we should get for our time and skills. However, too often, and I am guilty of it myself, we watch the clock like a hawk and work only the hours that we are assigned. We clock-in, clock-out, and leave until next time. We miss so many opportunities by not sticking around a little bit later at work or by not offering to cover a shift or coming in early. We miss the opportunity to get to know our bosses on a more personal level and develop a relationship that could lead to a mentorship. We want the promotions, but our bosses do not think of us first when they hear about a new opportunity. Instead they think about your co-worker who comes in early and leaves later, and volunteers to take on a new project, putting in more time and interest in the company. Like Remy Ma said on the LHHH NY reunion part 1, “If you think it is favoritism, then make yourself the favorite.”
4. Buy A Suit:
Or just functional clothes in general. You should always have clothes for an interview or business meeting readily available. It’s also important to start investing in quality clothes. Yes, you can score bags full of gear at h&m for really cheap, but after that first wash, they are basically no good. Aren’t you spending more money re-buying the same cheaply made clothes? Drop a little bit more money on clothes that’ll last you more than a week and see just how much money you end up saving in the long run, and you’ll look a lot more presentable.
5. Pay Your Phone Bill Before It Gets Cut Off:
PRIORITIZE YOUR MONEY. Your bills should not come as a surprise, I mean they come every month on the same date. Who likes late fees and bad credit ? Start using a budget sheet to keep track of your monthly expenses. If you can, pay a bill earlier than the due date to ease the pressure of paying everything all at once. You are getting too old to have to explain to your friends why they could not reach you on your cell or wasting unnecessary time on the phone with a bill collector wondering why your late fees have doubled. Also, do not sign up for automatic payments unless you are 100% positive that you will always have more than enough money in your account. Nothing says, “Oh Shit” like over drafting your account.
6. Say NO More:
You have no obligation to hang out with your old high school friends or give your roommates boyfriend a ride to middle of nowhere or host guests in your new apartment when you have not even begun to settle down. It is OK to say NO to friends, family and other not-so significant people. The luxury about getting older is that you do not have to do anything that you do not want to do. You do not have to fear what someone will say or think of you because you could not do them a favor. Hey, we all have our own shit going on, take care of yours first. Why overwhelm yourself with making promises to people when you will regret it because you are overextending yourself?
7. Expect More Out Of Sex:
Seriously, stop faking it. Stop pretending like 10 minutes of sex was satisfying. Stop pretending that they are doing all the right things when in fact they have no idea how to please you. You should know your body better than anyone else and you know what you like and what you do not like. How will your partner know how to please you if you are not vocal about your needs? I know we worry about wounding our partner’s egos, but teaching them where to put that and where to put this will allow you both to have a better sexual experience. A few seconds of awkwardness is worth the mind blowing sex you will start having once you speak up !
8. Make Your Own Doctor’s Appointments:
This is no longer your mother’s job. You cannot call your mother for every emergency. She has spent more than enough years preparing you to take care of yourself. Also, yes, we are young and we may feel fine, but we are not invincible. Do not wait to go to the doctors until something happens or when a symptom gets worse. Go on, put your big pants on and make that dreaded appointment, it’s probably the easiest part of adulting.
9. Time Management:
Stop being late all the time…another thing I am guilty of. I was late to work today, FYI, but I am still learning, too. It is rude, it is careless, and quite frankly, no one cares what your excuse is. No bizarre story like you almost hitting a Deerbra on the high way or being abducted by aliens in sombreros can justify why you were late. Respect that other people value their time as much as you do. Also, do not assume that you friends are you cool with you always being late. They honestly hate it. They hate having to lie about the actual time of a reservation in order for you to be on time…and you still manage to be late. It is really annoying to have to accommodate your chronic tardiness when they have the courtesy to always be on time for you.
10. Travel More:
Take trips to the Caribbean with your best friends, plan a weekend getaway with your boo or for yourself if you need a change of scenery. If you do not have that kind of time, then take a day trip on your day off. This world is too big for us ever to utter the words, ” I am bored.” All the money you spend on eating out at the same old restaurants and buying drinks at that shitty bar, you could be saving for your dream vacation. Set aside a separate account strictly for saving money for a trip and get yourself a GROUPON account and watch out for all the awesome deals on trips.
11. Be Honest:
Be honest with yourself. Are you happy? Are you satisfied at work? Are happy with your relationships? If not, then change it. Yeah, it is easier said than done, but the only person stopping you from attaining what you want is yourself. Get out of your own way and make the changes you want. You do not like your job? Apply for other ones that seem more fitting. Do you find yourself in a funk? Start doing the things that make you happy or find someone you can talk to. It is 2016, everyone has a shrink these days, it is all the rage. Are you dissatisfied in your relationships? Remove toxic people from your circle and spend your time with people who make you feel amazing and do not expect to much from you.